I want you dating

I’d convince myself that I had done something awful to make them not want a relationship with me.I blamed myself for the entire situation, and would go over our meetings in my mind for hours. I was blissful for a few months — until two of my cousins’ impending weddings starting rearing their heads, and my anxiety about going to yet another family wedding alone beat out my cynicism over the men I’d been dating.Once I understood that, I thought I’d be rewarded with a boyfriend in no time.So when I’d first start dating a guy, I’d ask him what he was looking for somewhere around our third date.

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When I was in my early 20’s, my father told me that the best way to find what I was looking for was to write down all of the qualities I wanted in a partner. I still remember a few, because they’re qualities I continue to look for — creative, gets along with their family, down to earth, ambitious, has a “career” and not just a “job” (a very important distinction for a career-oriented gal like myself).

And while I still had that cynical voice in my head, the larger part of me was incredibly stoked. His texting dwindled, and he eventually followed the many men before him into the void — never to be seen again, until one fateful day on the subway when I’d be bored and do an i Phone contacts purge.

On my first run out of the gate, I’d found a guy who wanted a relationship who also happened to be sweet and funny. This time, though, instead of getting sad about Jeremy’s disappearance, I tried to look at it objectively. He bounced around from job to job, which is fine for a lot of people, but is a little too flakey for me.

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